I'm finally under 260, after a couple months of working at it (sort of). Just barely though. I'm still finding it pretty difficult to keep the snacking down. In most cases, if its in front of my face, i'll eat it. I'm like a dog or something. Even though I know its bad, i'll eat it, because its there.
This past weekend Maggie and I splurged a little and went out for breakfast, I proudly ate only half of the pancakes I ordered ( i felt like I had a brick in my stomach), but later that night we went to a friends house where I chowed down on tortilla chips, pretzels, goldfish, pizza, chocolate covered raisins, salsa, taco-dip and animal crackers. Not all at once, but it doesn't even matter at that point does it?
Sunday, I ate the left over pancakes for breakfast, but my fat ass was still hungry so I had the last soy chorizo we got from trader joes. We didn't really have lunch after Maggie got back from her photoshoot, but we had sushi from Trader Joes for dinner.
Yesterday, I had yogurt and cereal for breakfast and worked through lunch. At about 3 i realized what time it was and I knew I needed to eat, but instead of eating the soup bowl that I brought, I bought a muffin, a banana and a diet pepsi. I could have done much worse, but I could feel that muffin sitting in my stomach for the rest of the night. I then ate a handful of pretzels, salad and some spinach pie, also from trader joes.
Today, all I've eaten is an apple for breakfast and the soup bowl from yesterday for lunch. I did have a diet pepsi, but i've been trying to subsist on water since then.
It's hard. Not the hardest thing in the world, but its really hard not to think about food all the time even though i'm not even hungry. Its so easy for me to walk downstairs and buy whatever I want from the cafe, sure its overpriced, but my fat stomach doesn't care. It just wants something to snack on.
All I want to do is get rid of the belly, hopefully by the end of the year, at least a noticeable difference. Its fucking ridiculous that I've lost 90 pounds now, but I'm still a fucking fatass.

2009 So Far = Weak Sauce

So I've still yet to break 260. The past few months have been hectic to say the least. In addition to all the moving, getting married, getting a new job stress i've yet to put forth a solid plan for financial recovery. I've been sort of a dick with credit cards and as a result, me paying off my massive debt prohibits me from financially participating in important things like saving for an eventual house, or even paying certain bills that maggie and i have. As a result of the boatload of depressing financial bullshit, I've not been totally faithful in regards to watching what I'm eating. But the first step to feeling better is getting better and so far, nothing ridiculous this week as far as overindulging or extra snacking is concerned.

It's amazing how fucking much I convince myself I need. I need those chips. I need that fucking hamburger, but as each day goes by I miss it less and less. So now that the marriage and job and moving thing is taken care of, my number one remaining stressor (other than still being a fat ass) is all about the cash-yeah.

I'm not totally sure where to go from here. I'm personally working on my nutrition and food and everything to the best of my ability. So i'm at least on some sort of recognizable track with that. But the money thing is just nuts and totally fucking staggering to think about. It hurts my brain.

First thing, saving. I need to get back into saving. I saved a whole lot for the wedding and still paid my bills on time so now that I'm making nearly twice as much, I think if i pretend that theres still some large event to save for, then I will save. If only for emergencies, if not for some definate goal i.e. a house, vacation, whatevs.

Second, REDUCE MY DEBT. I'm paying boatloads of interest right now and i'm working on transferring a few balances around so i can pay more towards principle and not so much towards the interest. This is probably the second times i've done the balance transfer thing and it didn't work out the last time because i'm a fucking dummy. It sort of has to work out this time because I couldn't possibly feel anymore like a tool about it than i already do.

Third, SPEND RESPONSIBLY. I caved and bought Dark Knight on Blu-Ray last week, but I swear to god that was my first borderline irresponsible purchase in months. I also got two new video games for christmas and those will totally keep me busy for a while. Anyways, just don't buy a bunch of stupid bullshit is all i'm saying. I've done decently with that for a while (though we could probably spend less on going out to eat than we do now), and i just have to keep it up. Less money for bullshit equals more money towards debt.

So yea. Eat Better. Spend Better. Major Goals, not just for 2009, but for the rest of my life.

Special thanks should go to Maggie for putting up with a Hobo for a husband.

2 Things

2 things have occured recently that I think are monumental in my epic journey to lose weight. I'm officially past the 60 pound mark, which is nice. But I'm still fat, so 60 pounds was kind of a drop in a bucket. Theres actually another thing that happened that i'm not going to share on a public forum because I don't want someone researching me on the internet to read about it and ask me about later or something, so be happy with this:

1. I fit into an X-Large shirt. Which is uncanny to me. I'm not able to just pick up any XL and put it on, but i've done so with a few shirts, including the new XL Hanes Undershirts I had to buy because my 2X ones are starting to look like dresses. I haven't worn an XL since 7th grade. Seriously. That was like 13 years ago.
2. I fit in size 38 jeans. This also has not happened since 7th grade. Back when I was 12, i was at least 225, minimum, but I was also a couple inches shorter, so i was little more stout. Unlike the the lithe animal I am now (har har har). 38 was sort of the end that I had decided in my mind, because I thought I would have to lose 100 pounds to get there, but apparently 60 is fine for that, so i'm gonna keep going, past 250, and hopefully to at least 199. Which would be epic.

I'm spiritually exhausted and as a result, my weight loss as slowed a bit. I just have to work harder is all. We're getting married in 57 days and thats enough time to get down to 250, which was the goal, when this started. it'll be tough going, but i think i can do it.

when i say spiritually exhausted, i mean it, i'm in such a general funk right now. mostly concernign work and money, and when those things bother you, its hard to forget about them considering how important they are. its lame, i know, and typical. but its tough to not let them bother you.

thankfully maggie is extremely patient and is giving me the benefit of the doubt as far as that is concerned, but i don't want to wear out her patience. i'd like some really good news, really soon.

Total Weak Sauce

I haven't research how old this is or when it was posted or anything other than a cursory glance, but I've already developed a staunch opinion about it. And that is that Threadless ripped me off all in the name of sweet t-shirts. Total weak sauce Threadless. I thought I knew you.

I'm at about 280 now, maybe a little less, not sure, I haven't weighed myself in a couple days.

Florida worked out pretty well, despite eating worse than I should have for 5 days, I ended up not gaining anything back and came out ahead in the end, having lost a pound over that week.

I think Maggie and I are at a point now where our bodies are so well adjusted and our metabolisms are so good that we could probably binge a little more often if we wanted to. So are bodies are on the right track, but as always, its a mental game. Just because we CAN it doesn't mean we SHOULD. At that is the end all be all that we have to hammer down.

I'm not sure that i'll be in an XL by the end of July like I wanted to, But i'm pretty sure that by the wedding I'm gonna be super hot, to match Maggies super hotness.

Looking Good, Plenty Tight

I haven't posted in a while, but thats okay. I haven't really done much on the weight front worth mentioning over the past month-ish or so. Until last night.

You see, Maggie works for a wonder lady by the name of Robin. Robin is a high-end wedding photographer in Chicago, and Maggie is her assistant. Robin is SUPER-NICE and is photographing our wedding on the cheap, the really really cheap. Which is really really nice and cool of her. So, she wants to do an "engagement session" with us (which is funny, because we've been engaged for almost 3 years, so its more of an "when the eff are you guys getting married? session") (october 4th, if you were wondering). Anyhoo, it just so happens that both of our schedules became free for tomorrow and we're going to shoot the pictures then. As a result, I needed to get some new pants, because my current 9 dollar Wal-Mart Jeans kind of look like shit and wouldn't really be good to be photographed in.
You see, since we've been dropping weight like Jay-Z used to push it, I've been kind of uncomfortable with buying expensive clothes, because I plan on loosing more weight, so i don't want to waste money on jeans that i won't be able to wear in 2 months. But since Maggie is cool beans, and I don't want to looks like a farmer in our pictures, I decided the right thing to do was to hunker down and by some fly denims.
So we went to Target last night and I hit the clearance section first, natch. And lo and behold, a pair of Merona Boot Cuts pops up and i'm in love and IT WAS ON SALE (i had planned on spending a minimum of 30 dollars on new jeans, which is a stretch for me, but I instead spent 12 , score)
I tried them on in the fitting room and let me tell you, them shits in the hottest pair of clothing i've ever owned. For realsies. Like, super hot. Basically, I feel like I'm on fire while i'm wearing them, but in a good way. Maggie likes them alot as well, but doesn't have nearly as big of a boner for them as I do. Which is strange I suppose, that I find myself more attractive than my fiance does, but whatever, that whole other post on wholly different blog.