Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm finally under 260, after a couple months of working at it (sort of). Just barely though. I'm still finding it pretty difficult to keep the snacking down. In most cases, if its in front of my face, i'll eat it. I'm like a dog or something. Even though I know its bad, i'll eat it, because its there.
This past weekend Maggie and I splurged a little and went out for breakfast, I proudly ate only half of the pancakes I ordered ( i felt like I had a brick in my stomach), but later that night we went to a friends house where I chowed down on tortilla chips, pretzels, goldfish, pizza, chocolate covered raisins, salsa, taco-dip and animal crackers. Not all at once, but it doesn't even matter at that point does it?
Sunday, I ate the left over pancakes for breakfast, but my fat ass was still hungry so I had the last soy chorizo we got from trader joes. We didn't really have lunch after Maggie got back from her photoshoot, but we had sushi from Trader Joes for dinner.
Yesterday, I had yogurt and cereal for breakfast and worked through lunch. At about 3 i realized what time it was and I knew I needed to eat, but instead of eating the soup bowl that I brought, I bought a muffin, a banana and a diet pepsi. I could have done much worse, but I could feel that muffin sitting in my stomach for the rest of the night. I then ate a handful of pretzels, salad and some spinach pie, also from trader joes.
Today, all I've eaten is an apple for breakfast and the soup bowl from yesterday for lunch. I did have a diet pepsi, but i've been trying to subsist on water since then.
It's hard. Not the hardest thing in the world, but its really hard not to think about food all the time even though i'm not even hungry. Its so easy for me to walk downstairs and buy whatever I want from the cafe, sure its overpriced, but my fat stomach doesn't care. It just wants something to snack on.
All I want to do is get rid of the belly, hopefully by the end of the year, at least a noticeable difference. Its fucking ridiculous that I've lost 90 pounds now, but I'm still a fucking fatass.

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